Overcoming the Burden: An Adoptee's Journey to Self-Love and Community

adoptee adoptee experience adoptee healing belonging breakthrough community emotional healing emotional processing empowerment limiting beliefs Feb 26, 2026

In this heartfelt episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley sits down with Jennifer Skiles - an adoptee and author - to explore the deep roots of the "I am a burden" belief and how it shapes the lives of adoptees. They discuss becoming aware of this inner narrative, healing through community, faith, and self-compassion, and the transformative power of sharing stories.

Key topics:

The impact of early abandonment and societal messaging on adoptee self-perception
How writing a story and embracing vulnerability facilitated healing
The role of faith and spirituality in recovering identity and hope
Recognizing harmful patterns like people-pleasing and shrinking to avoid being a burden
The importance of community, shared pain, and belonging in healing
Practical steps: trying new approaches, setting boundaries, visiting inner children, and practicing self-compassion
The significance of safe spaces for adoptees to process their experiences
The upcoming "You Are Not a Burden" online gathering

Chapters:

02:01 - The deeply rooted belief "I am a burden" among adoptees
03:41 - Jennifer shares her story of reuniting with her biological father
05:57 - How writing her book helped Jennifer own her story and heal
07:27 - The emotional process of feeling heard for the first time
10:23 - How the burden belief influenced relationships and behaviors
12:18 - Experiences of abandonment and not feeling accepted
14:16 - Societal pressure and feeling lucky versus feeling loved
15:28 - The "life gap" and missing early childhood memories
17:39 - Adoption statistics and societal misconceptions
19:40 - The importance of community for adoptees’ healing
22:21 - The power of shared stories and recognition
23:50 - Supporting each other through vulnerability and connection
24:44 - The impact of the burden belief on relationships and fears of rejection
26:02 - Faith and spirituality as sources of stability and healing
29:14 - Visiting inner children to foster self-love
30:07 - The body’s role in processing trauma
32:46 - Dispel misconceptions and set healthy boundaries
34:18 - How trying something different can shift perspectives
36:54 - The necessity of self-compassion in healing journeys
38:24 - Recognizing what is meant to be left behind
41:19 - Celebrating loved ones and releasing grief creatively
43:47 - The upcoming online gathering "You Are Not a Burden"
44:30 - What to do if you feel hesitant about engaging
46:33 - The role of community versus doing it alone
47:58 - Building safe spaces for raw, authentic conversations
50:27 - The relief of being understood without explanation
52:02 - Encouragement to take the first step even with resistance
54:03 - Reshaping beliefs through new actions and perspectives
57:24 - The importance of belonging over independence
58:24 - Details on the free online event and ongoing connection opportunities