Adoption From Both Sides: A Conversation With My Adoptive Mom (Love, identity, and the lifelong impact of adoption)

adoptee experience adoption emotional journey family dynamics love and acceptance mother-daughter relationship open communication resilience understanding adoption Jan 22, 2026

In this heartfelt episode of The Resilience Project, host Julie Brumley engages in a candid conversation with her mother, Karen, about their experiences with adoption. Julie expresses her gratitude for her mother's unwavering support and love throughout her life, emphasizing the importance of understanding the complexities of adoption from both the adoptee's and adoptive parent's perspectives. Karen shares her journey of becoming a mother through adoption, her initial feelings, and the evolution of her understanding of what it means to raise an adopted child. The discussion delves into the emotional nuances of adoption, including the fears and joys that come with it, and the significance of open communication in their relationship.

As they reflect on their shared experiences, Karen reveals her initial apprehensions about Julie's work with adoptees, but ultimately expresses pride in her daughter's commitment to advocating for the adoption community. The episode highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of understanding the impact of adoption on both sides of the equation. Through their dialogue, Julie and Karen demonstrate the power of vulnerability and connection in navigating the complexities of family dynamics and identity.

Takeaways
"I feel like we've stolen something precious because we weren't planning on taking you home."
"You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one."
"You have to work through it, learn, in sessions like you provide."

Sound bites
"You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one."
"They would be led by love and follow with action."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction: A Special Guest
01:45 Karen's Perspective on Motherhood
05:42 The Decision to Adopt
08:39 First Impressions: Meeting Julie
15:37 Understanding Adoption: Theories and Realities
18:33 Navigating Emotions: Protecting and Supporting Julie
22:31 The Importance of Feeling Adored
26:24 Connecting with Birth Family: A Journey of Discovery
27:50 Meeting the Birth Family
29:56 Evolving Perspectives on Adoption
34:24 Misunderstandings About Adoption
35:50 The Unspoken Fears of Adoptive Parents
39:03 Watching the Work with Adoptees
42:30 The Importance of Dialogue in Relationships
44:31 Raising an Adopted Child: Key Insights
47:39 Loving Beyond Biology